‘My wife is gone, I need to be strong for our daughter’: Husband of S’porean lost in Nepal floods

Shalinny Deavy, a State Courts employee, is one of nine Singaporeans still missing from the Nepal floods.

ST PHOTO: JASON QUAH

Published Oct 13, 2026, 05:00 PM

Updated Oct 13, 2026, 05:00 PM

Selvaganesh's wife, Shalinny Deavy, was last heard from at Gyirong port before the deadly floods and landslides hit.

He held final rites for her on Oct 9 with family, friends and State Courts colleagues.

Nepal recently cut the waiting period for declaring disaster victims dead from 12 years to about 1½ months.

SINGAPORE – When his wife went missing in the Nepal floods on Aug 26 , he hoped that she would have somehow survived and return safely.

But Selvaganesh, who wanted to be known only by his first name, says he has since accepted that his spouse, Shalinny Deavy, is gone.

Said the 43-year-old: “There were many people who contacted me saying they believed she would come back safe. But I know she is gone. She’s not coming back.”

Shalinny, a State Courts employee, is one of nine Singaporeans still missing after the Nepal floods .

The 40-year-old was on a pilgrimage there and last spoke with Selvaganesh over the phone at around 9am on Aug 26.

She told him she was at the Gyirong Port immigration building and was about to cross the border into Tibet.

A viral video of the building being swallowed up by a raging torrent of water and mud as people tried in vain to run away has been viewed many times.

Selvaganesh said: “She was supposed to call me once she had crossed the border, which would have taken about four to five hours. But she never did.”

The 12-minute call was to be the last for the couple, who have been married for 10 years.

About two hours after the call, floods and landslides swept through parts of central Nepal and Tibet, killing more than 1,450 people and leaving over 5,000 missing.

That night, Selvaganesh struggled to tell their seven-year-old daughter about what had happened.

He said: “All I could tell her was that ‘Amma (mother) is missing’. I didn’t know what else to tell her.”

By the next day, he said he knew Shalinny was gone.

The last recorded location of her phone was at the immigration building.

Any remaining hope evaporated when the authorities confirmed later that day that there was no record of Shalinny crossing the border.

Selvaganesh said: “She was right smack in the middle of ground zero. I knew then that she was definitely not coming back.”

That night, Selvaganesh and his daughter cried together.

He said: “For half an hour, both of us cried our hearts out. We looked through many photos and videos of the fun times we’ve had as a family, and we laughed.”

Selvaganesh said his daughter has been coping well with help from a school counsellor.

He said: “I have broken down many times in front of my daughter, but she has been very strong and has been consoling me. She has the qualities of her mother: strong, courageous, devoted and kind. That gives me the strength to carry on.”

But he still needed closure.

So, on Oct 9, he held the final rites and prayers for Shalinny.

The private event was attended by family, loved ones and colleagues, including judges from the State Courts.

Selvaganesh said: “With the evidence I had that she was truly gone, I didn’t want to deprive her of the proper rituals her soul deserves.”

He said Shalinny believed in volunteering and helping the community.

She was involved in grassroots organisations such as the Punggol 21 Community Club Women’s Executive Committee and the Punggol Shore Racial and Religious Harmony Circle.

She also shaved her head twice for Hair for Hope to raise funds and awareness for childhood cancer, and has been involved in monthly donations for food and education in India for the past three years.

During the rites, the family framed a picture of Shalinny they generated with artificial intelligence using her recent photos.

Selvaganesh had initially been sceptical of the technology, after AI images of his wife that did not look like her were previously circulated .

But the framed picture was an accurate depiction, he said.

He said: “I wasn’t really expecting anything. But when we saw this particular picture, I cried and my daughter went silent. It was exactly her, white hair and all.”

Despite having performed the rites, Selvaganesh said there were several unresolved issues, such as their monthly finances and administrative matters.

Because Shalinny has not yet been legally declared dead, he still has to pay her insurance premiums and her share of their home loan.

Selvaganesh said that while the authorities have been helpful, their hands remain tied because they cannot do anything without an official death certificate.

Previously, under Nepalese law, a person had to be missing for 12 years before he or she could be legally declared dead.

But on Oct 9, the same day the rites were performed, it was reported that Nepal’s President had shortened that waiting period to about 1½ months for declaring missing disaster victims dead, paving the way for death certificates to be issued soon.

Selvaganesh said he was relieved to hear the news.

He said: “I’m hoping to hear from the authorities about this soon so we can properly move on.”

David Sun is The Straits Times’ crime correspondent. He has a background in criminology and is a licensed private investigator.

新加坡国家法院雇员沙琳妮·迪维是尼泊尔洪灾中仍然失踪的九名新加坡人之一。

《海峡时报》摄影：JASON QUAH

发布于2026年10月13日下午5:00

更新于2026年10月13日下午5:00

在致命的洪水和山体滑坡发生之前，人们最后一次听到塞尔瓦加内什的妻子沙琳妮·迪维的消息是在吉隆港。

10月9日，他与家人、朋友和州法院的同事一起为她举行了最后的仪式。

尼泊尔最近将宣布灾难受害者死亡的等待期从 12 年缩短至约 1 个半月。

新加坡——8月26日，他的妻子在尼泊尔洪灾中失踪，他当时希望她能够奇迹般地幸存下来并平安归来。

但塞尔瓦加内什（Selvaganesh）只愿以他的名字示人，他说他已经接受了妻子沙琳妮·迪维（Shalinny Deavy）已经去世的事实。

这位43岁的女子说：“很多人联系我说，他们相信她会平安回来。但我知道她已经走了。她不会回来了。”

新加坡国家法院雇员沙林尼是尼泊尔洪灾后仍然失踪的九名新加坡人之一。

这位 40 岁的男子当时正在那里朝圣，最后一次与 Selvaganesh 通电话是在 8 月 26 日上午 9 点左右。

她告诉他，她正在吉隆口岸移民局大楼，即将越过边境进入西藏。

一段视频在网上疯传，视频中建筑物被汹涌的洪水和泥浆吞没，人们徒劳地试图逃离，这段视频已被观看多次。

塞尔瓦加内什说：“她本应该在过境后给我打电话，这大概需要四到五个小时。但她始终没有打电话。”

这通12分钟的电话成了这对结婚10年的夫妇的最后一次通话。

通话结束后约两小时，洪水和山体滑坡席卷尼泊尔中部和西藏部分地区，造成 1450 多人死亡，5000 多人失踪。

当晚，塞尔瓦加内什难以启齿地向他们七岁的女儿讲述了发生的事情。

他说：“我只能告诉她‘妈妈失踪了’。我不知道还能告诉她什么。”

第二天，他说他就知道沙林尼已经走了。

她手机最后一次被记录的位置是在移民局大楼。

当天晚些时候，当局证实没有沙林尼越境的记录，残存的希望也随之破灭。

塞尔瓦加内什说：“她当时就在爆炸中心正中心。我那时就知道她肯定回不来了。”

那天晚上，塞尔瓦加内什和他的女儿抱头痛哭。

他说：“我们俩哭了半个小时，哭得撕心裂肺。我们翻看了很多照片和视频，回忆起我们一家人在一起的快乐时光，然后我们笑了。”

塞尔瓦加内什说，在学校辅导员的帮助下，他的女儿情况很好。

他说：“我曾在女儿面前多次崩溃，但她一直非常坚强，安慰我。她继承了她母亲的品质：坚强、勇敢、忠诚、善良。这给了我继续前行的力量。”

但他仍然需要一个了结。

因此，10月9日，他为沙林尼举行了最后的仪式和祈祷。

出席此次私人活动的有家人、亲友和同事，其中包括州法院的法官。

塞尔瓦加内什说：“根据我掌握的证据表明她确实已经去世，我不想剥夺她灵魂应得的适当仪式。”

他说，沙林尼相信志愿服务和帮助社区。

她曾参与榜鹅 21 民众俱乐部妇女执行委员会和榜鹅海岸种族与宗教和谐圈等基层组织的工作。

她还曾两次为“希望之发”活动剃光头，以筹集资金并提高人们对儿童癌症的认识，并且在过去三年中，她一直参与每月向印度捐赠食物和教育项目。

在仪式上，家人用人工智能技术，根据莎琳妮最近的照片，制作了一幅莎琳妮的画像，并将其装裱起来。

此前，网上流传着一些用人工智能技术生成的、与他妻子本人相貌不符的图像，塞尔瓦加内什最初对这项技术持怀疑态度。

但他表示，裱框的那幅画描绘得非常准确。

他说：“我其实没抱太大期望。但当我们看到这张照片时，我哭了，女儿也沉默不语。照片上的人跟她一模一样，连白头发都一样。”

尽管已经举行了仪式，但塞尔瓦加内什表示，还有一些问题尚未解决，例如他们的每月财务和行政事务。

由于莎琳妮尚未被法律宣布死亡，他仍然需要支付她的保险费和她应承担的房屋贷款份额。

塞尔瓦加内什表示，虽然当局提供了帮助，但由于没有正式的死亡证明，他们也无能为力。

此前，根据尼泊尔法律，一个人必须失踪 12 年才能被合法宣布死亡。

但就在举行仪式的同一天，10 月 9 日，有报道称尼泊尔总统将宣布失踪灾难受害者死亡的等待期缩短至约 1 个半月，为尽快签发死亡证明铺平了道路。

塞尔瓦加内什表示，听到这个消息他感到如释重负。

他说：“我希望尽快收到有关部门的消息，以便我们能够妥善处理此事。”

大卫·孙是《海峡时报》的犯罪记者。他拥有犯罪学背景，并且是一名持证私人侦探。