Friends with work benefits: Young Singaporeans say work friendships help their careers, but carry risks

This is Shannon. She has two work besties in the office and thinks that work friendships are beneficial for her career.

This is Roberto. He doesn’t think work friendships have an impact on his career.

Meanwhile, Mark thinks work friendships are beneficial, but is wary of the risks. Grace thinks the risks outweigh the benefits.

We asked 800 adults aged 20 to 34 about their views on work friendships.

27% of respondents were like Shannon and her friends, who think work friendships generally benefit one’s career.

55% of respondents were like Mark, who thinks work friends are beneficial, but also risky.

13% are like Grace, who thinks these carry more risks than benefits, and 5% are like Roberto, who thinks work friendships have little impact.

Work friendships can have career benefits, but navigating workplace friendships can sometimes be complicated.

From a listening ear to a reason to stay, a survey of 800 young adults finds work friends make the daily grind easier.

SINGAPORE – Eight years ago, Tiffany Ong did not expect that one of the best things she would take away from her internship would be a lifelong friendship.

Working for a small youth publication in 2018, Ong and her then colleague, Sherlyn, grew close while navigating work with a difficult co-worker, who made racist and sexist remarks and belittled other colleagues.

“I once even cried in the office after that co-worker called me stupid,” recalls Ong, 31, who now works full time in the education industry.

Sherlyn stood by her, lodging a complaint with their supervisor, which resulted in the offending co-worker being reprimanded.

While that co-worker has disappeared from Ong’s life, her friendship with Sherlyn remains strong. Almost a decade later, Ong will be a bridesmaid at Sherlyn’s wedding in December.

Ong’s story points to something many young Singaporeans recognise: Friends at work can be good for them.

In a survey commissioned by The Straits Times, 82% of respondents say workplace friendships benefit one’s career at least to some extent. Most add a caveat: 55% say such friendships help, but also carry risks, while 27% say they are generally beneficial. Only 13% feel they carry more risks than benefits.

Those who have a colleague turned close friend are more likely to see a clear upside. Among them, 31% say workplace friendships generally benefit one’s career, against 17% of those who have not made a close friend at work.

Conducted by independent research company Pureprofile in July, the survey polled 802 Singapore residents aged 20 to 34 with full-time, part-time or internship work experience to explore how young people here navigate work friendships and boundaries.

For Cheong, 28, a project manager in event management who declines to give her first name, one work friendship turned into a job offer. A former colleague she had been friends with offered her a role.

“Although I didn’t take the job offer, it shows that connections you make at work matter in some way,” she says.

Such friendships build social capital, says David Leong, managing director of recruitment firm PeopleWorldwide Consulting.

The benefits go beyond career moves. Four in five respondents (79%) agree that workplace friendships make work more enjoyable, 74% say they make collaboration at work easier, and 73% say these make them more likely to stay in a job.

On retention specifically, 81% of those aged 20 to 24 say so, against 68% of those aged 30 to 34.

Respondents say work friendships make work more enjoyable and collaboration easier, among other benefits.

Sarah Koh, 27, who works in the media industry, says: “Having people you can count on to hear you out on work stresses when you need a listening ear can really make a difference, as friends outside the office might not always fully understand the troubles you go through at the workplace.”

Being able to talk to friends during small pockets of time across the day can really brighten up what might otherwise be a dreary day in the office, and can provide that momentary stress relief needed to be more focused at work after.

Her experience is a common one. Asked to describe their most memorable experience of a workplace friendship, 26% of respondents spoke of a colleague who stood by them through difficult times, at work or in their personal lives.

Others described friendships that lasted for years (18%), colleagues who pitched in with practical help on the job (15%) and work friends they went on to socialise or travel with outside the office (11%).

“The most positive experience is that I managed to turn a colleague into one of my best friends in life,” writes one respondent in the open-ended answers.

Positive experiences at work include having support during hardship and building lasting friendships.

Linda Teo, country manager of ManpowerGroup Singapore, says: “Workplace friendships can contribute to a more connected and collaborative work environment. Having trusted colleagues often makes it easier for employees to exchange ideas, seek advice and work together towards shared goals.

“These relationships can also contribute to employee engagement and a stronger sense of connection within teams. Employees who feel connected to their colleagues may be more comfortable participating in discussions, contributing to team initiatives and seeking support when needed.”

Friendship formation

Nine in 10 respondents have made friends through work. Of these, 76% have seen at least one such friendship become a close personal one.

For 77% of respondents, workplace friendships develop naturally or through regular interactions.

Most workplace friendships develop naturally when colleagues get along with one another.

Koh became friends with her colleagues shortly after starting her first job out of university in 2022.

“We were all in the same department. I think we grew closer naturally over time because we had a lot of chemistry and shared a similar sense of humour,” she says.

Respondents are comfortable doing a range of activities with colleagues who became work friends, though they are more selective when it comes to sensitive topics such as discussing salary.

“We are all around the same age, so naturally there were just more common talking points as well, such as what we did in university, and confiding in one another about assimilating into working life as a fresh graduate.”

More than half of respondents find it easy to make friends at work.

While 51% of respondents find it easy to make friends at work, many credit the work itself.

The most common reason given was bonding through shared projects and struggles (24%). “We share the pressure of the same projects and bond over late nights and venting sessions, so we hit it off right away,” one respondent writes.

On the other hand, 12% find it difficult. These respondents most often say they prefer to keep work and personal life separate, are shy or introverted, or find it hard to trust colleagues.

As an introvert, 26-year-old engineer Lim Jia Jun finds it challenging to make and maintain work friendships.

My colleagues are nice to include me for work lunches, but our conversations mostly stop at work. I’ve never made a work friend.

“As a guy, I’m also worried about saying the wrong things to my female colleagues that might result in office gossip about me, so I end up not saying anything at all. I don’t want to risk saying too much about myself as I’m worried others might use the information against me in the future,” he says, adding that he is mostly happy to keep to himself at work.

He is not alone. Concerns about workplace gossip and politics are the most common barrier to forming friendships at work, cited by 38% of respondents. This is followed by difficulty trusting colleagues (34%) and having few colleagues of a similar age or life stage (31%).

Some barriers in forming friendships at work include concerns about workplace gossip, difficulty trusting colleagues and different age or life stages.

Gossip weighs even more heavily on women. Among respondents who cite it, 48% of women rank it as their biggest barrier, compared with 36% of men.

Some face-to-face contact also seems to help friendships develop. About six in 10 respondents who work in the office or on a hybrid arrangement say their set-up makes it easy to form friendships with colleagues. Among those who work fully remotely, the figure is about three in 10.

Conflicts of interest top respondents’ concerns, with 64% agreeing that workplace friendships can create them, followed by perceptions of favouritism at 61%. Younger workers are more wary: 70% of those aged 20 to 24 flag conflicts of interest as a risk, compared with 58% of those aged 30 to 34.

Cons of work friendships.

Cheong has also seen the flip side. She was once friends with a colleague about 12 years older.

She and her colleague initially got along, but looking back, Cheong feels she shared too much about herself too soon. She confided in the older colleague about her workplace struggles, such as rude or uncooperative colleagues. They even went out one on one for karaoke and drinks after work.

After a few months, the colleague became hostile towards Cheong, making comments about her dressing and putting her down in front of other colleagues. The two had been friends on social media, but the colleague eventually blocked Cheong with no explanation after quitting the company.

“She once said I had worn a dress with a lower neckline for our male client’s benefit, which I found extremely inappropriate and offensive,” says Cheong.

Accounts like hers are not unusual. Thirteen per cent of respondents, when describing a workplace friendship, recount broken trust, gossip or personal information being shared without their consent.

Keeping personal information private is the clearest line not to cross, the survey finds.

More than half of respondents (54%) feel that their boundaries would be crossed if personal information about them is shared with others.

One respondent writes: “I told the person very personal information as a friend and he spread it to colleagues whom I do not consider friends.”

Christine Ng, 29, who works in insurance, counts her work friends among the people she confides in, but is careful about what she shares at work.

“If it’s something that concerns only me, I may not mind sharing it with my work friends, such as health or personal matters, but if it’s concerning my family or loved ones, I may not disclose the full details if there’s no need to,” she says.

When a colleague does overstep, most would deal with it quietly rather than formally.

Four in 10 respondents say they would distance themselves without saying anything, while 36% would raise it with the colleague directly. Only 1% would escalate the matter through formal channels. Men are more likely than women to confront the colleague directly (41% versus 31%).

Workplace friendship becomes risky when people forget one fundamental fact: Your friend is still your colleague, says Leong.

“Careers, promotions, performance ratings and organisational politics remain in the background. The problem arises when your friend becomes your superior; the interaction may become awkward,” he says.

If a work friend becomes their manager, 57% of respondents say they would stay friends, but with more boundaries, while 25% say it would make no difference.

Workplace friendships may build social capital, but they also create relational risk when personal and professional boundaries blur, says Leong.

Ong has seen the other side too. She had a friendship with a colleague that turned sour after they started hanging out outside of work.

“I’m not sure what happened, but the friendship eventually turned into workplace animosity, and it did not help that we sat close to each other in the office. We had to avoid sitting near each other during team lunches,” says Ong.

I learnt not to get too close to people at work. Talking about holidays and clothing sales is fine, but I am now very careful to toe the line.

Workplace friendship is, as Leong puts it, a double-edged sword.

“The closer the friendship, the more information, trust and vulnerability are exchanged between parties and, therefore, the more there is to lose when that relationship breaks down. Those blurred lines can make working together uncomfortable,” he says.

Employees can manage the risks of workplace friendships by keeping business decisions, performance discussions and business responsibilities separate from personal relationships, says Teo.

“Applying the same standards and expectations consistently across colleagues helps promote fairness and transparency,” she says.

It is also helpful to establish a shared understanding around working styles, privacy preferences and workplace responsibilities, she adds.

“Setting clear boundaries from the outset can help ensure there is mutual understanding around what remains personal and what is appropriate to discuss in a work setting.”

Yet, looking back, respondents’ regrets lean less towards getting too close than towards drifting apart.

Asked what they would do differently, respondents were most likely to say they wish they had kept up more of their workplace friendships (31%). Another 24% say they would have been more careful about whom they befriended at work.

What respondents would do differently with work friendships.

Men (38%) were more likely than women (25%) to wish they had maintained more friendships, while women (28%) were more likely than men (19%) to wish they had been more careful.

Syafiq, in his 30s, who works in financial services and declines to give his full name, says he realised how much he missed his former colleagues only when he switched to a new job.

“When I started my new job and had to adapt to a new crowd of co-workers, I realised how important the company of my old colleagues had been to me. We got along very well at work, and I felt that I could be myself around them. I wish that I had made the effort to reach out to them more outside of work,” he says.

For Ng, the value is simpler. “My work friends are also people whom I can confide in about struggles or challenges at work. We help one another, and we also celebrate one another.”

(From left) Financial consultants Rachel Cheang, 28, Christine Ng, 29, and Rachel Tan, 34, at their office in September. ST PHOTO: ARIFFIN JAMAR

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这是香农。她在办公室里有两个工作上的闺蜜，她认为工作中的友谊对她的职业生涯很有帮助。

这是罗伯托。他认为工作中的友谊不会对他的职业生涯产生影响。

与此同时，马克认为工作中的友谊有益，但也对其中的风险有所顾虑。格蕾丝则认为风险大于收益。

我们询问了 800 名年龄在 20 至 34 岁之间的成年人对工作友谊的看法。

27% 的受访者和香农以及她的朋友们一样，认为工作中的友谊通常对一个人的职业生涯有益。

55% 的受访者和马克一样，认为工作中的朋友有好处，但也有风险。

13% 的人像 Grace 一样，认为这些行为弊大于利；5% 的人像 Roberto 一样，认为工作中的友谊影响甚微。

职场友谊可能对职业发展有益，但处理职场友谊有时会很复杂。

从倾听者到留下的理由，一项针对 800 名年轻人的调查发现，工作中的朋友可以让日常工作变得更容易。

新加坡——八年前，蒂芙尼·翁没想到，她从实习中获得的最宝贵的收获之一竟然是一段终生的友谊。

2018 年，翁和她当时的同事雪琳在一家小型青年刊物工作，在与一位难缠的同事共事的过程中，她们变得亲密起来。这位同事发表种族主义和性别歧视言论，并贬低其他同事。

“有一次，一位同事骂我笨，我甚至在办公室里哭了，”现年 31 岁、在教育行业全职工作的 Ong 回忆道。

雪琳站在她身边，向她们的主管提出了投诉，结果那位犯错的同事受到了训诫。

虽然那位同事已经从翁的生活中消失了，但她与雪琳的友谊依然牢固。将近十年后，翁将在12月雪琳的婚礼上担任伴娘。

Ong 的故事揭示了许多新加坡年轻人所认同的一点：工作中的朋友对他们有益。

《海峡时报》委托进行的一项调查显示，82%的受访者认为职场友谊至少在一定程度上对职业发展有益。但大多数受访者也补充道：55%的人认为职场友谊虽然有帮助，但也存在风险；27%的人认为职场友谊总体上是有益的；只有13%的人认为职场友谊弊大于利。

那些与同事发展出深厚友谊的人更有可能看到其中的明显益处。在这些人中，31%的人认为职场友谊通常对职业发展有益，而没有在工作中结交挚友的人中，只有17%的人持相同观点。

该调查由独立研究公司 Pureprofile 于 7 月进行，调查对象为 802 名年龄在 20 至 34 岁之间、拥有全职、兼职或实习工作经验的新加坡居民，旨在探讨新加坡年轻人如何处理工作中的友谊和界限。

28岁的张女士（她不愿透露自己的名字）是一名活动管理项目经理，对她来说，一段工作上的友谊最终转化为一份工作机会。一位与她关系不错的前同事向她提供了一份工作。

“虽然我没有接受那份工作，但这说明你在工作中建立的人脉关系在某种程度上是重要的，”她说。

人力资源公司 PeopleWorldwide Consulting 的董事总经理 David Leong 表示，这样的友谊可以积累社会资本。

好处不仅限于职业发展。五分之四的受访者（79%）认为职场友谊让工作更愉快，74%的人表示职场友谊让工作协作更轻松，73%的人表示职场友谊让他们更愿意留在原岗位。

具体到留存率，20 至 24 岁人群中有 81% 的人表示愿意留存，而 30 至 34 岁人群中只有 68% 的人持相同观点。

受访者表示，工作中的友谊能让工作更愉快，让合作更容易，除此之外还有其他好处。

27岁的Sarah Koh在媒体行业工作，她说：“当你需要倾诉工作压力时，身边有可以依靠的人真的会很有帮助，因为办公室外的朋友可能并不总是能完全理解你在工作场所遇到的困难。”

在一天中利用零碎时间与朋友交谈，真的可以驱散办公室里原本可能沉闷的一天，并能提供短暂的压力缓解，使之后的工作更加专注。

她的经历很常见。当被问及他们最难忘的职场友谊经历时，26%的受访者提到了在工作或生活中遇到困难时给予他们支持的同事。

其他人则描述了持续多年的友谊（18%）、在工作中提供实际帮助的同事（15%）以及在工作之余一起社交或旅行的朋友（11%）。

一位受访者在开放式回答中写道：“最积极的经历是我成功地将一位同事变成了我一生中最好的朋友之一。”

工作中的积极体验包括在遇到困难时获得支持以及建立长久的友谊。

万宝盛华新加坡区总经理Linda Teo表示：“职场友谊有助于营造更紧密联系、更协作的工作环境。拥有值得信赖的同事，通常能让员工更容易交流想法、寻求建议，并共同努力实现共同目标。”

“这些关系也有助于提高员工敬业度，增强团队凝聚力。与同事关系密切的员工会更乐于参与讨论、为团队活动做出贡献，并在需要时寻求帮助。”

友谊的建立

十分之九的受访者表示他们通过工作结交了朋友。其中，76%的人表示至少有一位同事发展成了亲密的私人友谊。

77% 的受访者表示，职场友谊是自然而然发展起来的，或是通过经常性的互动而建立起来的。

大多数职场友谊都是同事之间相处融洽时自然而然形成的。

Koh在2022年大学毕业后开始第一份工作，不久后就和同事们成为了朋友。

“我们都在同一个部门。我觉得随着时间的推移，我们自然而然地变得亲近起来，因为我们很有默契，而且有着相似的幽默感，”她说。

受访者乐于与成为工作朋友的同事一起进行各种活动，但在讨论薪资等敏感话题时，他们会更加谨慎。

“我们年龄都差不多，所以自然也有很多共同话题，比如我们在大学里都做了些什么，以及作为应届毕业生如何融入职场生活等等。”

超过半数的受访者认为在工作中结交朋友很容易。

51% 的受访者认为在工作中很容易交朋友，但许多人认为这归功于工作本身。

最常见的原因是因共同的项目和遇到的困难而建立起深厚的感情（24%）。“我们共同承受着项目的压力，一起熬夜、一起倾诉，所以我们很快就熟络起来，”一位受访者写道。

另一方面，12%的人觉得这很困难。这些受访者通常表示，他们更喜欢将工作和个人生活分开，他们性格内向或害羞，或者难以信任同事。

26岁的工程师林嘉俊性格内向，他觉得建立和维持工作中的友谊很有挑战性。

同事们都很友善，会邀请我一起吃工作午餐，但我们之间的交流大多仅限于工作场合。我从未在工作中交到过朋友。

“作为男性，我也担心跟女同事说错话，导致办公室里流言蜚语，所以我干脆什么都不说。我不想冒险透露太多关于自己的信息，因为我担心别人将来会利用这些信息来对付我，”他说道，并补充说，他很乐意在工作中保持低调。

他并非孤例。38%的受访者表示，担心职场八卦和政治是建立工作友谊最常见的障碍。其次是难以信任同事（34%）以及缺乏年龄或人生阶段相仿的同事（31%）。

在工作中建立友谊的一些障碍包括担心职场八卦、难以信任同事以及年龄或人生阶段的差异。

流言蜚语对女性的影响更大。在提及流言蜚语的受访者中，48%的女性将其视为最大的障碍，而男性持此观点的比例为36%。

面对面的交流似乎也有助于友谊的建立。在办公室工作或采用混合办公模式的受访者中，约有十分之六的人表示，他们的工作方式让他们更容易与同事建立友谊。而在完全远程办公的受访者中，这一比例约为十分之三。

利益冲突是受访者最关心的问题，64%的受访者认为职场友谊可能导致利益冲突，其次是偏袒现象，占比61%。年轻员工更加谨慎：20至24岁的受访者中有70%认为利益冲突是一种风险，而30至34岁的受访者中这一比例为58%。

工作友谊的弊端。

郑女士也见识过另一种情况。她曾经和一位比她年长约12岁的同事是朋友。

她和同事起初相处融洽，但现在回想起来，张女士觉得自己当时太快透露了自己的太多信息。她向这位年长的同事倾诉了职场上的种种不顺，比如遇到态度粗鲁或不配合的同事。她们甚至在下班后单独一起去唱卡拉OK、喝酒。

几个月后，这位同事开始对郑女士充满敌意，对她的穿着评头论足，并在其他同事面前贬低她。两人之前在社交媒体上是好友，但这位同事离职后，却毫无解释地将郑女士拉黑了。

“她曾说过我穿低领连衣裙是为了取悦我们的男客户，我觉得这非常不恰​​当，令人反感，”张女士说。

像她这样的经历并不少见。13%的受访者在描述职场友谊时，都提到过信任破裂、流言蜚语或个人信息被未经同意泄露的情况。

调查发现，保护个人信息隐私是最不容逾越的底线。

超过一半的受访者（54%）认为，如果他们的个人信息被分享给其他人，他们的界限就会被侵犯。

一位受访者写道：“我以朋友的身份告诉了对方非常私人的信息，但他却把这些信息散布给了我的同事，而我的同事我并不认为是朋友。”

29 岁的 Christine Ng 在保险行业工作，她会向同事朋友倾诉心事，但她会谨慎地选择在工作中分享的内容。

“如果是只与我自身有关的事情，比如健康或个人问题，我可能不介意与我的同事朋友分享；但如果是与我的家人或爱人有关的事情，如果没有必要的话，我可能不会透露全部细节。”她说。

当同事越界时，大多数人会选择私下处理，而不是正式处理。

十分之四的受访者表示会保持距离而不说什么，而36%的人会直接与同事沟通。只有1%的人会通过正式渠道上报此事。男性比女性更倾向于直接与同事对质（41% 对 31%）。

梁说，当人们忘记一个基本事实时，职场友谊就会变得危险：你的朋友仍然是你的同事。

“职业发展、晋升、绩效考核和组织政治都退居其次。问题在于，当你的朋友成为你的上级时，你们之间的关系可能会变得尴尬，”他说道。

如果工作中的朋友变成了自己的经理，57% 的受访者表示他们会继续做朋友，但会划清界限，而 25% 的受访者表示这不会有任何区别。

梁表示，职场友谊可以积累社会资本，但当个人和职业界限模糊不清时，也会造成人际关系风险。

Ong也经历过另一种情况。她曾与一位同事保持友谊，但两人在工作之外开始交往后，友谊就破裂了。

“我不太清楚发生了什么，但友谊最终变成了职场上的敌意，而且我们在办公室里座位挨得很近，这更加剧了矛盾。我们不得不在团队午餐时避免坐在一起，”翁说道。

我学会了不要和同事走得太近。聊聊假期和服装促销没什么问题，但我现在会非常注意自己的言行举止。

正如梁所说，职场友谊是一把双刃剑。

“友谊越深厚，双方交换的信息、信任和脆弱之处就越多，因此，一旦关系破裂，失去的也就越多。这些模糊的界限会让合作变得很不舒服，”他说道。

Teo表示，员工可以通过将业务决策、绩效讨论和业务责任与私人关系分开来管理工作场所友谊带来的风险。

她表示：“对所有同事始终如一地应用相同的标准和期望有助于促进公平和透明。”

她还补充说，建立对工作方式、隐私偏好和工作场所职责的共识也很有帮助。

“从一开始就设定明确的界限，有助于确保双方对哪些属于个人隐私，哪些内容适合在工作场合讨论有共同的理解。”

然而，回顾过去，受访者后悔的与其说是走得太近，不如说是渐行渐远。

当被问及如果可以重来，他们会做些什么不同的事情时，受访者最常表示希望自己能维系更多职场友谊（31%）。另有24%的受访者表示，他们会在选择职场好友时更加谨慎。

受访者表示，他们会如何改进工作中的友谊。

男性（38%）比女性（25%）更希望自己能维持更多的友谊，而女性（28%）比男性（19%）更希望自己能更加谨慎。

30多岁的Syafiq在金融服务行业工作，他拒绝透露自己的全名。他说，直到换了新工作后，他才意识到自己有多么想念以前的同事。

“当我开始新工作，不得不适应新的同事群体时，我才意识到老同事们的陪伴对我来说有多么重要。我们在工作中相处融洽，和他们在一起，我感觉很自在。我真希望当初能多花些时间和他们保持联系，”他说。

对吴来说，这种价值更简单。“我的工作伙伴也是我可以倾诉工作中的困难或挑战的人。我们互相帮助，也互相庆祝。”

（从左至右）财务顾问 Rachel Cheang（28岁）、Christine Ng（29岁）和 Rachel Tan（34岁）于9月在办公室合影。（海峡时报摄影：ARIFFIN JAMAR）

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