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How divorced parents can celebrate their child's birthday in a healthy way

If celebrating together presents discomfort for both parents, having separate parties is completely acceptable if that is what's best for the child.

The Star MalaysiaDr JANN BLACKSTONE2026-10-30 07:00查看原文 ↗

Birthday celebrations shouldn't turn into a competitive event for co-parents as the children must be the main focus. Photo: Pexels

Q: My ex wants us to celebrate our daughter’s birthday together every year because she says it’s better for our daughter. We don’t fight in front of her, but being together is uncomfortable and I’m sure she can feel it. I’d rather have separate celebrations. Does putting the kids first mean we have to celebrate together?

A: If everyone is genuinely comfortable with spending special occasions together, terrific. I’ve seen families make it work beautifully. But there’s no prize for sitting around a birthday cake pretending you’re having fun while your child monitors their parents’ behaviour.

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