The absurd battle between the SEC and LSU reaches a tipping point

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Lane Kiffin couldn’t help himself.

At halftime, as his LSU team took a 31-3 lead over Clemson into the locker room, the Tigers’ head coach was about to dash off after chatting with ESPN sideline reporter Holly Rowe. And then he leaned back in.

“Imagine if we had pro players,” he quipped.

That’s line-item number 90 in the Southeastern Conference ’s amended complaint, filed on Tuesday in a federal courtroom. The league, clearly fed up and disgusted with Lane being Lane, has asked the Northern District Court of Alabama for a temporary restraining order to ensure that no one from LSU can block or interfere with, among other things, a meeting scheduled for Thursday to discuss whether the conference ought to boot the school from its membership.

SEC threatens to boot LSU out of the conference this week, court filing says

“The SEC and its member universities have the right to establish, through agreed-upon governance procedures, the rules under which they voluntarily compete and to expect those rules to be followed,” the league said in a statement.

“A commitment to those rules, and to the core principles of the Southeastern Conference, is an essential element of SEC membership. Today’s filing is necessary to defend that right and preserve the Conference’s ability to govern competition among its members.”

It likely won’t come to that.

This feels like posturing from a rightfully exasperated Greg Sankey and his other 15 university presidents. The thought of the SEC expelling one of its charter members after 94 years of inclusion seems preposterous. Of course, LSU – which stomped Clemson 51-10 on Saturday – dying on a hill over two guys who couldn’t even make it in the NFL, also is ridiculous.

Besides LSU, despite its blustering and blathering, already blinked first.

On the eve of the Tigers’ game against Clemson on Friday, Kiffin opted not to add Dae’Quan Wright and Zxavian Harris to the roster, arguing that without knowing the full ramifications of their inclusion, it was in the best interest of the football program to sit them out.

Except, LSU couldn’t stop there. The school also said it would leave two roster spots open, just in case they change their mind later.

That, coupled with Kiffin’s smart-aleck quip to Rowe is why we’re here, with a scheduled Zoom meeting on Thursday to discuss expulsion.

It appears the Tigers may be blinking again after the SEC’s filing on Tuesday. Multiple reports on Tuesday night indicated the two open roster spots were filled by players other than Wright and Harris, meaning they will not play for LSU this season.

The whole thing, frankly, feels a lot like when my kids were little.

My son was great at needling my daughter in ways he knew would get a rise out of her, and my daughter could never not take the bait. Parenting wound up being a lot of “you stop annoying your sister and you stop falling for it.”

So, Lane. Please stop annoying Greg. And Greg, for the love of God, stop falling for it. And everyone stop whining to their mom about the other one – or in this case, a federal judge.

LSU has clearly decided to not only live in the swill of the college athletics pigsty, but to flop about in it. Goaded on by a governor, who handpicked the university president and staged a coup to overthrow one athletic director in order to hire Kiffin, the bayou bandits are proudly wearing their black hats. In a video alleged to be from the Tigers’ locker room at the half against Clemson, someone screams, “The whole world f**king hates you. Let’s go tell the whole world to f**k off.’’

Meanwhile, basketball coach Will Wade currently has a roster of only four players a month before official practice begins. By rule, you need five, though perhaps one could sue for an exception?

Anyway, that’s because Wade – who got fired from the school after an NCAA investigation four years ago only to return in black-hatted triumph – is trying to bring RJ Luis, who signed an NBA contract, and a host of guys involved in fifth-year eligibility court orders to campus.

So yes, LSU is off the rails. They are spending who-knows-how-much in billable hours to add two players they really don’t need to the roster. It is not about principle, as that requires those involved to actually possess them.

It is about thumbing their nose at authority and being a thorn in the side of its SEC siblings. It’s about being right about being wrong. It is a preposterous battle of egos that has sucked the oxygen out of college football. If they haven’t yet, Michigan, Big Ten clock officials, Rutgers and the Florida State facilities team ought to each send Kiffin a big ol’ bouquet.

The SEC is not only within its rights to try to find a way to penalize one of its members for bad behavior; it has been left with no other real choice. That a Louisiana judge handcuffed the conference with a ruling that says it couldn’t penalize LSU for breaking one of its rules is jurisprudence of the absurd. Sankey is wise to seek relief from more absurdity.

Back when my kids got to instigating and overreacting, I’d try to rationalize with them. Tell them that they were meant to be each other’s champions, and that one day they’d only have each other. Except kids being kids, my son would keep needling and my daughter would keep wailing. Eventually, I’d reach the tipping point that every parent eventually reaches:

Knock it off. Or else.

Here’s hoping this is the SEC’s tipping point. Or else.

Ella Hall/University Images via Getty Images

莱恩·基芬情不自禁。

中场休息时，路易斯安那州立大学老虎队以31比3领先克莱姆森大学老虎队进入更衣室，老虎队的主教练正准备在与ESPN场边记者霍莉·罗伊聊完天后匆匆离开。然后，他又靠了回来。

“想象一下，如果我们有职业球员会怎样，”他打趣道。

这是东南联盟周二向联邦法院提交的修正诉状中的第90项内容。该联盟显然对莱恩的所作所为感到忍无可忍，并已向阿拉巴马州北区地方法院申请临时限制令，以确保路易斯安那州立大学的任何人不得阻挠或干扰定于周四举行的会议，该会议旨在讨论联盟是否应将路易斯安那州立大学除名。

据法庭文件显示，美国证券交易委员会（SEC）威胁本周将路易斯安那州立大学逐出联盟。

“美国证券交易委员会及其成员大学有权通过商定的管理程序，制定自愿参与比赛的规则，并期望这些规则得到遵守，”该联盟在一份声明中表示。

“遵守这些规则以及东南联盟的核心原则，是成为美国证券交易委员会成员的必要条件。今天的提交对于捍卫这项权利、维护联盟管理成员间竞争的能力至关重要。”

可能不会发展到那种地步。

这感觉像是格雷格·桑基和其他15位大学校长出于正当理由的愤怒而做出的姿态。SEC在94年的历史之后竟然要开除其创始成员之一，这简直荒谬至极。当然，路易斯安那州立大学（LSU）——周六以51比10大胜克莱姆森大学——为了两个甚至没能在NFL立足的球员而如此大动干戈，也同样荒唐可笑。

除了路易斯安那州立大学（LSU）之外，尽管它之前一直虚张声势、喋喋不休，但它已经率先妥协了。

在周五老虎队与克莱姆森队比赛的前一天，基芬选择不将达奎恩·赖特和泽维安·哈里斯加入球队名单，他认为，在不知道加入球队的全部后果之前，让他们休息才是对球队最有利的做法。

然而，路易斯安那州立大学并没有就此止步。该校还表示，他们会预留两个球员名额，以防日后改变主意。

这件事，再加上基芬对罗伊那句自作聪明的俏皮话，就是我们今天在这里的原因。我们计划在周四召开一次 Zoom 会议，讨论开除事宜。

看来，在周二SEC提交文件后，老虎队可能又要再次犹豫了。周二晚间的多份报道指出，两个空缺的球员名额已被赖特和哈里斯以外的球员占据，这意味着赖特和哈里斯本赛季将不会代表路易斯安那州立大学出战。

坦白说，这一切感觉很像我的孩子们小时候的样子。

我儿子很擅长用他知道能激怒女儿的方式去逗她，而女儿总是忍不住上钩。结果，我们家的育儿方式变成了“你别再惹你妹妹生气，也别再上当”。

所以，莱恩，别再烦格雷格了。格雷格，看在上帝的份上，别再上当了。还有，大家都别再跟妈妈抱怨别人的事了——或者说，别再抱怨联邦法官的事了。

路易斯安那州立大学（LSU）显然已经决定不仅要生活在大学体育的粪坑里，而且还要继续沉沦其中。在一位州长的怂恿下——这位州长钦点了大学校长，并发动政变推翻了一位体育主管，以便聘请基芬——这群来自沼泽地带的“强盗”们正得意洋洋地戴着他们的黑帽子。在一段据称拍摄于老虎队对阵克莱姆森大学比赛中场休息时更衣室的视频中，有人高喊：“全世界都他妈的恨你们。让我们去告诉全世界滚蛋！”

与此同时，篮球教练威尔·韦德在正式训练开始前一个月，球队名单上只有四名球员。按规定，球队需要五名球员，不过或许有人可以提起诉讼，要求破例？

总之，这是因为韦德——四年前因 NCAA 调查而被学校解雇，但后来又以黑帽凯旋之姿回归——正试图将与 NBA 签约的 RJ 路易斯以及一大批卷入第五年参赛资格法庭命令的球员带到校园。

没错，路易斯安那州立大学（LSU）彻底失控了。他们花了巨额的工时费，就为了引进两名他们根本不需要的球员。这跟原则无关，因为原则的前提是相关人员必须真正拥有这些球员。

这关乎他们对权威的蔑视，以及与SEC联盟其他球队的针锋相对。这关乎他们明明错了却依然坚持己见。这是一场荒谬的自负之战，已经让大学橄榄球失去了活力。如果密歇根大学、十大联盟的计时官员、罗格斯大学以及佛罗里达州立大学的设施团队还没有这么做的话，他们应该各自给基芬送上一束鲜花。

美国证券交易委员会（SEC）不仅有权想方设法惩罚其成员的不当行为，而且实际上也别无选择。路易斯安那州一位法官的裁决束缚了SEC的手脚，认为它不能因为路易斯安那州立大学（LSU）违反其规则而对其进行处罚，这简直是荒谬至极的判例。桑基寻求摆脱这种荒谬局面是明智之举。

以前孩子们挑衅、反应过度的时候，我总是试图跟他们讲道理。告诉他们，他们注定要成为彼此的依靠，将来他们只会拥有彼此。但孩子们毕竟是孩子，儿子会不停地挑衅，女儿会不停地哭闹。最终，我也会像所有父母一样，达到忍无可忍的临界点：

住手。否则后果自负。

希望这是美国证券交易委员会的转折点。否则后果不堪设想。