The Mother Load: What 5 conversations reveal about modern motherhood in Singapore

From maternal mental health and the invisible load of caregiving to fertility treatment, social media and the decision to return to work, The Straits Times’ five-part podcast series - The Mother Load - sets out to explore the parts of motherhood that rarely make the headlines. The biggest lesson learnt along the way? Mothers here may need less advice - and more reassurance that they are not alone.

Explore the complex decisions working mothers face, weighing career ambitions against family time with insights from real experiences.

ST GRAPHIC: TEO TONG KAI

Vanessa Paige Chelvan

Published Oct 23, 2026, 05:00 PM

Updated Oct 23, 2026, 05:00 PM

It started, appropriately enough, with a much-needed jolt of coffee.

In January, a conversation at our office Toast Box with two fellow parents turned to the realities of raising children. As a working mother, I found myself wishing for a podcast rooted in the Singapore experience of motherhood - one that went beyond parenting tips to explore the emotional, social and workplace realities of being a mother.

Then came a simple suggestion: “Why don’t you do it?”

The result became a limited-run podcast series - The Mother Load - a five-parter covering maternal mental health, the mental load, social media and parenting anxiety, working motherhood and fertility.

The conversations were deliberately not about getting motherhood “right”. I wanted to explore what it actually feels like to navigate a transition that can be joyful, exhausting, isolating and messy - sometimes all at once.

One of my biggest takeaways was how much we can learn simply by listening.

Some of our audience members who wrote in said the episodes on IVF and being a stay-at-home-mum offered a glimpse into realities they were unfamiliar with. One listener said the candour of guests sharing grief and heartbreak helped them become more aware of the needs of others, and how to be a better friend, colleague and family member.

Another appreciated that the discussion on being a stay-at-home mother went beyond the usual debate over whether women should work, to instead examine financial realities, relationship power dynamics and the toll these can take on a marriage.

It reminded me that journalism is not only about telling us what is happening, but also about helping us understand what it feels like to live through it.

This was a new approach for a podcast series by The Straits Times too, which has six other regular series covering current affairs, career and life, issues of the day, geopolitics and health.

One listener called The Mother Load “a breath of fresh air” because it did not give her “a list of things that I need to do”, but instead made her feel that the points discussed were simply part and parcel of every mother’s life.

Another appreciated that personal stories were balanced with facts and research, rather than becoming simply about people recounting their experiences.

I was struck by how different the conversations felt when I allowed myself to be a part of them. Here, I was just a mother chatting with other mums who sometimes threw questions back at me!

One listener wrote: “I love that we get a space on national news to talk about real issues!”

Motherhood is everywhere, but many of its hardest realities are still treated as private problems - things women are expected to work out quietly.

Hopefully, The Mother Load gives some of those honest, evidence-based and human experiences a place in mainstream journalism.

‘You don’t have to do this perfectly to do it well’: Working motherhood and mental health

What happens when mum is depleted, running on empty, and yet still tries to keep going? From the hormonal and neurological changes of matrescence to the relentless mental load of caregiving, we examine why motherhood can feel so all consuming – and why so many struggle in silence.

Joining me in this episode are clinical psychologist Elysia Tan from Annabelle Psychology, who is navigating life with her young daughter, and parent coach Joline Lim, co-director of Chapter Zero, who is raising two neurodivergent children.

The juggle is real: Can working mums really have it all?

In this episode, we unpack the feeling of never being enough at work or at home, the invisible mental load of being the “default parent”, and why some things in life are rubber balls that bounce back when they are dropped.

We also talk about burnout, sharing the load with your partner, and how becoming a mother reshapes what ambition and success looks like. Joining me is Jacinth Liew, parenting coach and founder of Our Little Play Nest.

Are social media algorithms feeding our parenting anxieties?

In this episode, we explore practical ways to build a healthier relationship with social media, trust your own instincts again and find real support beyond the screen - reminding parents that no algorithm knows their children better than they do.

Joining me are Huda Rasid, founder of The Mum Collective, and Minister of State Rahayu Mahzam, as we talk candidly about the pressures of raising children in this digital age.

Injecting yourself in the bathroom and smiling through work: The reality of IVF while at work

Around one in six couples in Singapore experience infertility, yet many endure the physical and emotional toll of fertility treatment in silence while juggling work, medical appointments and the uncertainty of what comes next.

Joining me in this episode are Divya Menon, director of Fertility Support SG, who is still navigating her own in-vitro fertilisation (IVF) journey after multiple treatment cycles and a recent miscarriage, and Elisha Tushara, a Straits Times journalist whose daughter was conceived after years of fertility treatment and losses.

Stay-at-home or working mum: Is there ever a right choice?

Joining me in this episode are Kristen Kiong, a speech therapist and mother of three who left the workforce to care for her children full-time; and Yong Qiao Qing, a marketing manager and mother of two who returned to work after being a stay-at-home mum.

We discuss the misconceptions surrounding stay-at-home mothers, the hidden value of unpaid caregiving, and why becoming a mother can make women stronger and more productive at work.

Listen to Vanessa’s interview on Money FM 89.3:

Host: Vanessa Chelvan ( vpchelvan@sph.com.sg )

Read Vanessa’s articles: https://str.sg/gr5Z

Follow Vanessa on LinkedIn: https://str.sg/jHdJ

Produced and edited by: Teo Tong Kai

Executive producers: Ernest Luis & Elizabeth Law

Follow more ST podcast channels:

All-in-one ST Podcasts channel: https://str.sg/wvz7

Get more updates: http://str.sg/stpodcasts

Get The Straits Times app, which has a dedicated podcast player section:

The App Store: https://str.sg/icyB

Google Play: https://str.sg/icyX

从产妇心理健康、无形的照护负担，到生育治疗、社交媒体以及重返职场的决定，《海峡时报》的五集播客系列节目——《母亲的重担》——旨在探索那些鲜少登上新闻头条的育儿话题。一路走来，她们最大的感悟是什么？或许，这里的妈妈们需要的不是那么多建议，而是更多“我并不孤单”的安慰。

通过真实经历的启发，探索职业母亲在权衡事业抱负与家庭时间时所面临的复杂抉择。

平面设计：张同恺

凡妮莎·佩奇·切尔万

发布于2026年10月23日下午5:00

更新于2026年10月23日下午5:00

一切都始于一杯急需的咖啡，这倒也合情合理。

一月份，在办公室的“吐司角”聊天时，我和两位同事聊到了育儿的种种现实。作为一名职场妈妈，我当时就渴望能有一个播客节目，能够真正反映新加坡妈妈们的育儿体验——一个不只是提供育儿技巧，而是深入探讨为人母在情感、社交和职场等方面所面临的种种现实的播客。

然后有人提出了一个简单的建议：“你为什么不自己去做呢？”

最终成果是一个限时播出的播客系列节目——《母亲的重担》——共五集，内容涵盖母亲的心理健康、心理负担、社交媒体和育儿焦虑、职业母亲和生育能力。

这些对话刻意避开了“正确”为人母的话题。我想探讨的是，经历这种可能充满喜悦、疲惫、孤独和混乱的转变究竟是怎样的感受——有时所有这些感受会同时出现。

我最大的感悟之一是，我们仅仅通过倾听就能学到很多东西。

一些听众来信说，关于试管婴儿和全职妈妈的节目让他们得以窥见一些他们并不熟悉的现实。一位听众表示，嘉宾们坦诚地分享悲伤和心碎的经历，帮助他们更加了解他人的需求，以及如何成为更好的朋友、同事和家人。

另一位观众则赞赏，关于全职妈妈的讨论超越了通常关于女性是否应该工作的辩论，而是审视了经济现实、人际关系中的权力动态以及这些因素可能对婚姻造成的影响。

它提醒我，新闻报道不仅是告诉我们发生了什么，还要帮助我们理解身临其境的感受。

对于《海峡时报》的播客系列来说，这也是一种新的尝试。该报还有其他六个定期系列节目，涵盖时事、职业与生活、当日热点、地缘政治和健康等领域。

一位听众称《母亲的重担》“令人耳目一新”，因为它没有给她“列出我需要做的事情清单”，而是让她觉得所讨论的观点只是每个母亲生活中不可或缺的一部分。

另一位读者则赞赏书中将个人故事与事实和研究相结合，而不是仅仅讲述个人经历。

当我真正融入到对话中时，我惊讶地发现对话的氛围截然不同。在这里，我只是一个普通的母亲，和其他妈妈们聊天，她们有时也会向我抛出一些问题！

一位听众写道：“我很高兴我们能在国家新闻节目中获得讨论真正问题的平台！”

母性无处不在，但许多最艰难的现实仍然被视为私人问题——人们期望女性默默解决这些问题。

希望《母性之宝》能让一些真实、有事实依据且充满人性化的经历在主流新闻报道中占有一席之地。

“你不必做到完美才能做好”：职场妈妈与心理健康

当妈妈精疲力竭、筋疲力尽，却仍然试图继续下去时，会发生什么？从孕期激素和神经系统的变化，到无休止的照护带来的精神负担，我们将探讨为什么母爱会让人感到如此不堪重负——以及为什么这么多人默默承受着这一切。

本期节目我邀请到了来自 Annabelle Psychology 的临床心理学家 Elysia Tan，她正在努力适应与年幼女儿的生活；还有 Chapter Zero 的联合主任、育儿教练 Joline Lim，她正在抚养两个神经多样性儿童。

职场妈妈真的很难兼顾家庭和事业吗？

在这一集中，我们将探讨在工作或家庭中永远感觉不够好的原因，作为“默认父母”所承受的无形精神负担，以及为什么生活中有些事情就像橡胶球一样，掉落后会反弹回来。

我们还会聊到职业倦怠、与伴侣分担家务，以及成为母亲如何重塑人们对抱负和成功的定义。和我一起参与讨论的是育儿教练、Our Little Play Nest创始人Jacinth Liew。

社交媒体算法是否加剧了我们的育儿焦虑？

在这一集中，我们将探讨如何与社交媒体建立更健康的关系，重新相信自己的直觉，并在屏幕之外找到真正的支持——提醒家长们，没有任何算法比他们更了解自己的孩子。

今天和我一起的是“妈妈联盟”的创始人胡达·拉希德和国务部长拉哈尤·马赫扎姆，我们将坦诚地谈论在这个数字时代养育孩子所面临的压力。

在卫生间里给自己注射，然后强颜欢笑地上班：上班族做试管婴儿的真实写照

新加坡约有六分之一的夫妇面临不孕不育的问题，但许多夫妇默默承受着生育治疗带来的身心痛苦，同时还要兼顾工作、就医以及对未来不确定性的担忧。

本期节目嘉宾包括：新加坡生育支持中心主任 Divya Menon，她本人在经历了多次体外受精 (IVF) 治疗周期和最近一次流产后，仍在继续自己的 IVF 之旅；以及《海峡时报》记者 Elisha Tushara，她的女儿是在多年生育治疗和多次流产后才怀上的。

全职妈妈还是职场妈妈：真的有正确的选择吗？

本期节目嘉宾是：克里斯汀·基翁（Kristen Kiong），一位语言治疗师，也是三个孩子的母亲，她为了全职照顾孩子而离开了职场；以及永乔青（Yong Qiao Qing），一位市场经理，也是两个孩子的母亲，她在当过全职妈妈后重返职场。

我们探讨了围绕全职妈妈的误解、无偿照护的隐性价值，以及为什么成为母亲可以让女性在工作中变得更强大、更有生产力。

请收听Vanessa在Money FM 89.3的采访：

主持人：Vanessa Chelvan ( vpchelvan@sph.com.sg )

阅读Vanessa的文章：https://str.sg/gr5Z

在领英上关注Vanessa：https://str.sg/jHdJ

制作及剪辑：张同凯

执行制片人：欧内斯特·路易斯和伊丽莎白·劳

关注更多ST播客频道：

ST Podcasts综合频道：https://str.sg/wvz7

获取更多更新：http://str.sg/stpodcasts

下载《海峡时报》应用程序，该程序设有专门的播客播放器版块：

App Store：https://str.sg/icyB

Google Play：https://str.sg/icyX