As Halloweekend kicks off the holidays, the first thing a good party host should do is read this

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Party-hosting vets and newbies, the high season is officially here: This Halloweekend kicks off the most wonderful time of the year, with many other holidays and festivities to come. But are your planning and execution skills up to par ?

“I’ve had more people this year say I’m hosting something for the first time in years,” said etiquette expert Myka Meier, founder of Beaumont Etiquette in New York City. “People are so over virtual everything. They’re kind of craving that social interaction .”

Gatherings add meaning to our lives, said Gina Jokilehto, owner and creative director of Shi Shi Events, a wedding planning and design firm based in Cleveland. “There is something very special and wonderful about celebrating your life, romanticizing your life, providing experiences for both you and those around you that are elevated and meaningful and memorable.”

So, time for a Hosting 101 refresher. But first, give yourself lots of grace. Even seasoned, well-meaning hosts occasionally commit a faux pas. I have thrown Halloween parties, bridal and baby showers, birthday parties, Christmas gatherings, and game nights. Yet every now and then, I run short on time and find myself distracted and stressed as guests arrive while I’m still cooking or putting the finishing touches on my makeup.

But it all works out. Hosting is a massive job — and I’ve learned the more you do it, the better you get.

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A party host’s job is to make guests feel important, happy and at ease, Meier and Jokilehto said. A lot of that boils down to preparation and communication.

“A great invitation isn’t just about getting people through the door,” Meier said. “It’s about making them feel comfortable before they even arrive.”

Think through what your guests’ experience and questions may be from their arrival to departure, Meier said. Generally, the more details you can give, the better. If there’s an end time, say so, or if not, write “9 p.m. — late,” for example. List the RSVP deadline, the theme or dress code, a request for dietary restrictions and allergies, and maybe some details about what your event will involve, such as a costume contest or karaoke.

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If you’re throwing a potluck, list specific guidelines — especially so you don’t end up with five desserts and no sides because guests chose what was easiest. Ask everyone to bring their favorite side dish or include a sign-up sheet on the invitation. Hosts should always make themselves responsible for the main dish — typically a protein — serveware, flatware, beverages and drinkware, Jokilehto added.

Don’t ask invitees to chip in financially, Meier said. You’re either hosting or you’re not, so if your funds are limited, only throw a party you can afford .

Depending on where you live, you may need to provide more navigational details than just your address. My residence is a bit hard to find once people enter the neighborhood — so on my invitations or in subsequent details, I also include specific instructions. If you live in a gated community, include the code, and during the party, monitor your phone in case anyone needs help.

If you’re concerned about having too many guests or keeping the vibe adult-only, there are friendlier ways to handle that than writing “no kids” or “no plus-ones” on the invitation.

For kids, Meier suggests a kindly worded disclaimer on the invitation. She likes the phrases “We look forward to an adults-only evening,” or “We love your little ones, but this is an adults-only celebration,” she said.

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Jokilehto advised that invitations should list the names of the people in the household that are invited. Most guests will infer that others are not invited when they RSVP. And if you know someone tends to bring their kids without asking, you can even preemptively call to let them know what your wishes are for the event.

If the event is intimate or you don’t have the space, you could ask guests in the invitation to contact you for any questions about plus-ones.

A common host mistake is underestimating the time needed to clean, cook, decorate and set up, Jokilehto said.

If you relate to that misstep, give yourself twice as much time as you think you need to prepare. Ideally, all major preparations are done 60 to 90 minutes before the party’s start time, Meier said. All you should have left to do then is smaller tasks, such as lighting candles, setting food and drinks out, or finishing getting yourself ready. This strategy also gives you space to address any mishaps and take a breather before guests arrive.

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As a rule of thumb, buy any decor or supplies the week before your event, deep clean your house within the week of, and purchase any fresh food and drinks the day before, sources said. And getting more than you think you’ll need and having leftovers, for yourself or your guests, is better than hoping you have enough and running out too soon. A good spread is especially important if people will be drinking. Always provide nonalcoholic beverage options, too.

A simple meal served thoughtfully is better than an elaborate one that leaves you exhausted, Meier said. Avoid trying new, untested recipes, said etiquette coach Maryanne Parker, founder of Manor of Manners, an international business, social and youth etiquette consultancy in San Diego.

When you’re setting up, place serveware near every dish and open anything with a lid or packaging. People are more comfortable digging into something when they know they’re not the first.

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If you’ll have guests with food allergies or restrictions, use little signs to indicate which foods do or don’t contain certain ingredients, Meier said. If you have a seating chart, place people near food they can eat, Parker said. And in general, seat guests near others with whom they have something in common.

Many hosts also need to put a little more thought into readying their bathroom — guests shouldn’t have to dry their hands on their pants because you neglected to provide hand towels. Also, keep extra toilet paper visible, your hand soap full and some air freshener on the counter, so everyone can use the bathroom without embarrassment or disgust.

Want to impress guests upon their arrival? In Meier’s 2020 book “ Modern Etiquette Made Easy ,” she suggested ticking off the “five senses of hosting.” You might have cinnamon sticks boiling in water so people can smell something nice, a festive playlist going, warm lighting, cozy decor they can feel , and a tasty appetizer they can eat.

If you’re hosting mixed company, never leave guests to fend for themselves socially. While outgoing people may have no issue with inserting themselves into a group or chat, for more reserved attendees , that can feel awkward or even daunting.

Of course, there are times when the host needs to focus on other things, but “you are the social connector of everyone in that room,” Meier said. “Your job isn’t simply introducing people but helping them find a common denominator.” Maybe you know two of your guests share an alma mater or are huge fans of the same artist.

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You can also plan icebreaker activities. At my sister’s last Friendsgiving, she had everyone play a sort of social bingo game, in which multiple rounds group people together based on shared fun facts or interests, like favorite candies or holidays. You can find online many variations on this activity.

“Be very clued into guests standing alone, struggling to enter a conversation ,” Meier said. “You don’t have to force somebody, but just make sure they’re included.”

When your guests arrive, welcome them, take their purse or coat, let them know where everything is, and offer them a drink, glass of water and/or appetizer. And don’t be afraid to let visitors know the boundaries of your home, Jokilehto added, such as no shoes, smoking or letting the dog out.

If you’re serving a meal, try to do so no more than an hour after the start time, Meier said.

And pay attention to visitors’ body language, experts said. Some hosts keep their home on the warmer side or vice versa, and they aren’t aware of when people are uncomfortable but not saying so. Setting your thermostat at 69 degrees Fahrenheit (20.5 degrees Celsius), whether that’s heat or air depending on the season, is a good start.

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If you didn’t get to fulfill every single element of your hosting hopes and dreams, at this point you must let it go.

Only you know what your vision was, while your guests are probably more than happy and impressed. “Perfection isn’t the goal ,” Meier said. “Hospitality and connection is.”

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If you didn’t set an end time for your occasion, there are “very nice and nuanced ways to let people know,” Jokilehto said. You can start cleaning up when guests have eaten dessert and conversation has started to wind down. Most people follow suit within half an hour or so.

For anyone not getting the hint, offer to pack up any food they may want to take home. Or throw in a “I’m so glad you came,” or “Well, this was fun!” Others may appreciate clear communication instead of hints. “I’m wiped out, guys. I need to get to bed,” should do it.

And whatever else happens, you’ll know what to do. “A good host is very intuitive and has very high social and emotional intelligence ,” she added, “which I think is more important now than ever.”

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无论你是派对老手还是新手，旺季正式来临：这个万圣节周末拉开了全年最美好时光的序幕，接下来还有许多其他节日和庆祝活动。但是，你的策划和执行能力是否达标呢？

“今年有更多人跟我说，这是他们多年来第一次举办聚会，”纽约市博蒙特礼仪学院的创始人、礼仪专家迈卡·迈尔说道。“人们已经厌倦了一切虚拟活动。他们渴望面对面的社交互动。”

“聚会能为我们的生活增添意义，”位于克利夫兰的婚礼策划设计公司Shi Shi Events的老板兼创意总监Gina Jokilehto说道，“庆祝人生、浪漫生活、为自己和身边的人创造高雅、有意义且令人难忘的体验，这本身就是一件非常特别和美好的事情。”

所以，是时候来个“待客之道”入门课了。不过首先，请善待自己。即使是经验丰富、用心良苦的主人，偶尔也会犯错。我举办过万圣节派对、新娘送礼会、婴儿送礼会、生日派对、圣诞聚会和游戏之夜。然而，时不时地，我也会时间不够用，客人陆续到来时，我还在做饭或补妆，结果却发现自己分心、压力山大。

但一切都会好起来的。主机托管是一项非常繁重的工作——而且我发现，做得越多，就越熟练。

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别在节日聚会上做个糟糕的客人

梅尔和约基莱托表示，派对主人的职责是让客人感到备受重视、开心和自在。而这一切很大程度上取决于充分的准备和有效的沟通。

“一份好的邀请函不仅仅是把人请进门，”梅尔说，“而是要让他们在到达之前就感到舒适自在。”

梅尔说，仔细想想宾客从抵达到离开的整个过程，以及他们可能会遇到的问题。一般来说，提供的细节越多越好。如果有结束时间，请明确说明；如果没有，可以写“晚上9点 - 深夜”之类的。列出回复截止日期、活动主题或着装要求、饮食限制和过敏情况，以及活动的具体安排，例如服装比赛或卡拉OK。

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如果你要举办聚餐，一定要列出具体的规则——尤其要避免最后出现五道甜点却没有配菜的情况，因为客人都选择了最方便的菜肴。可以请大家带上自己最喜欢的配菜，或者在邀请函上附上报名表。Jokilehto补充说，主人应该负责主菜（通常是肉类）、餐具、刀叉、饮料和饮具。

梅尔说，不要让受邀者分摊费用。要么你主办，要么你不主办，所以如果你的资金有限，那就只举办你能负担得起的派对。

根据您居住的地点，您可能需要提供比地址更详细的导航信息。我家住得比较隐蔽，一旦进入小区就很难找到——所以我会在邀请函或后续的详情中附上具体的路线说明。如果您住在封闭式小区，请提供小区密码，并在聚会期间留意您的手机，以便随时提供帮助。

如果您担心宾客过多或希望保持仅限成人的氛围，除了在邀请函上写“谢绝儿童”或“谢绝携带伴侣”之外，还有更友好的处理方式。

对于有孩子的家庭，梅尔建议在邀请函上附上措辞友好的免责声明。她说，她喜欢“我们期待一个只有成人的夜晚”或“我们很爱您的孩子，但这是一个仅限成人参加的庆祝活动”这样的说法。

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你们当中有些人是糟糕的朋友，所以你们才会感到孤独。

约基莱托建议，邀请函上应列出受邀家庭成员的姓名。大多数客人在回复时都会明白其他人未被邀请。如果您知道有人习惯不经询问就带孩子来，您甚至可以提前打电话告知他们您对此次活动的期望。

如果活动规模较小或者场地有限，你可以在邀请函中告知宾客，如有任何关于携带伴侣的问题，请与你联系。

Jokilehto表示，主人常犯的错误是低估了清洁、烹饪、装饰和布置所需的时间。

如果你也有过类似的失误，那就给自己预留两倍于预期的准备时间。梅尔说，理想情况下，所有重要的准备工作都应该在派对开始前60到90分钟完成。到那时，你只需要做一些小事，比如点燃蜡烛、摆放食物和饮料，或者完成自己的仪容整理。这种策略还能让你有时间处理任何突发状况，并在客人到来之前稍作休息。

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一般来说，最好在活动前一周购买装饰品和用品，在活动前一周彻底清洁房屋，并在活动前一天购买新鲜的食物和饮料。建议多准备一些，这样可以给自己或客人留一些，总比指望准备足够却很快不够要好。如果宾客会饮酒，准备充足的食物就显得尤为重要。同时，也务必提供非酒精饮料。

梅尔说，精心准备的简单餐食胜过令人筋疲力尽的繁复大餐。礼仪教练玛丽安·帕克（Maryanne Parker）建议，避免尝试未经检验的新食谱。帕克是位于圣地亚哥的国际商务、社交和青少年礼仪咨询公司“礼仪庄园”（Manor of Manners）的创始人。

准备餐点时，在每个菜肴旁边都放上餐具，并打开所有带盖或包装的食物。当人们知道自己不是第一个享用美食时，他们会更自在地享用。

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梅尔说，如果客人中有食物过敏或饮食限制，可以用小标牌标明哪些食物含有或不含某些成分。帕克说，如果安排了座位，就把客人安排在他们可以吃的食物附近。一般来说，尽量把客人安排在有共同点的人旁边。

许多房东也需要多花些心思准备浴室——客人可不想因为你忘了准备毛巾而只能用裤子擦手。此外，还要确保备用卫生纸、洗手液充足，并在台面上放一些空气清新剂，这样每个人都能毫无尴尬或不适地使用浴室。

想在客人抵达时给他们留下深刻印象吗？梅尔在她2020年出版的《现代礼仪轻松学》一书中建议，要从“待客的五种感官”入手。你可以准备一些在水中煮沸的肉桂棒，让客人闻到怡人的香气；播放欢快的音乐；布置温暖的灯光；摆放一些舒适的装饰品，让他们可以触摸感受；并准备一些美味的开胃菜。

如果你招待的是不同背景的客人，千万不要让客人在社交方面孤立无援。外向的人可能很容易融入群体或聊天，但对于比较内向的客人来说，这可能会让他们感到尴尬甚至不知所措。

当然，主人有时也需要专注于其他事情，但梅尔说：“你是房间里所有人的社交纽带。你的工作不仅仅是介绍人，而是帮助他们找到共同点。”也许你知道你的两位客人毕业于同一所大学，或者都是同一位艺术家的忠实粉丝。

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你还可以策划一些破冰活动。我姐姐上次举办朋友聚餐时，她组织大家玩了一种类似社交宾果的游戏，游戏会进行多轮，根据大家共同的趣事或兴趣爱好（比如喜欢的糖果或节日）将大家分组。你可以在网上找到很多类似的游戏。

“要特别留意那些独自站着、难以融入谈话的客人，”梅尔说。“你不需要强迫他们，但一定要确保他们能参与其中。”

客人到访时，热情迎接，帮他们拿好手提包或外套，告知他们物品摆放位置，并为他们提供饮料、水或开胃小菜。Jokilehto补充道，不要害怕告知客人家里的规矩，例如不能穿鞋、不能吸烟或不能让狗外出。

梅尔说，如果你要提供餐食，尽量不要在开始时间后超过一小时才开始。

专家建议，还要注意观察访客的肢体语言。有些主人会把家里的温度调得偏高或偏低，他们可能意识不到客人感到不舒服，但又没有表达出来。根据季节不同，将恒温器设置在华氏69度（摄氏20.5度）是个不错的开始，无论是暖气还是空调。

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如果你没能实现所有关于招待客人的愿望和梦想，那么现在你必须放手了。

只有你自己才知道你的设想是什么，而你的客人可能已经非常满意和印象深刻。“完美不是目标，”梅尔说，“热情好客和人与人之间的交流才是。”

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如果你没有设定聚会的结束时间，Jokilehto说，有很多“非常巧妙的方式可以告知宾客”。比如，当宾客们吃完甜点、谈话也开始减少时，就可以开始收拾了。大多数人会在半小时左右也收拾好。

如果有人没明白你的意思，可以主动提出帮他们打包想带回家的食物。或者说“很高兴你们来了”，或者“哇，今天真开心！”。有些人可能更喜欢直接沟通，而不是暗示。“我累死了，伙计们，我得睡觉了。”这样就足够了。

无论发生什么，你都会知道该怎么做。“一个好的主人非常善于察言观色，并且拥有很高的社交和情商，”她补充道，“我认为这一点在现在比以往任何时候都更加重要。”

每周精选健康生活小贴士，助您轻松享受美好生活。订阅 CNN 的“生活更美好”电子报，获取提升幸福感的资讯和实用工具。