[INTERVIEW] 'My Hell Could Not Kill Me': A defector's journey from home and back

Kim Kang-woo said he defected from North Korea to South Korea in 2016 and later risked crossing back to rescue his mother. He described being arrested in the South under the National Security Act after returning from the North, then receiving a suspended sentence. He is now studying international affairs at university and wrote a memoir to encourage defectors and others facing hardship.

Kim Kang-woo crossed North Korea’s border into China in May 2016 when he was 21 and later settled in Seoul in 2017 after completing the South Korean government’s resettlement program.

He returned to North Korea in May 2019 to try to rescue his mother and said he knew he could die or face up to five years in prison in South Korea.

After returning to the South, he was arrested under the National Security Act and spent roughly 10 months in custody during the investigation before receiving a suspended sentence.

His mother was eventually able to defect to South Korea after his arrest, and he was forced to remain in his North Korean hometown for 22 days during the process.

Kim now attends university and is majoring in international affairs, a dream he had postponed while trying to bring his mother out of the North.

Published Sep 19, 2026 11:13 am KST

Updated Sep 19, 2026 11:14 am KST

Author Kim Kang-woo poses during an interview with The Korea Times at the newspaper’s headquarters in Seoul, Sept. 7. Korea Times photo by Shim Hyun-chul

The over of book "My Hell Could Not Kill Me" by Kim Kang-woo / Courtesy of Book and Life

This article is the second in a series of interviews with people whose lives intersect with North Korea, offering firsthand accounts of the risks, routes and relationships that connect the two Koreas and continue to shape their lives today.

In May 2016, Kim Kang-woo, then 21 years old, risked his life crossing North Korea's border into China to defect to South Korea in search of freedom, thinking he might never be able to return to the isolated country ever again. But three years later, in May 2019, he did not hesitate to jump back into the Amnok River — also known as the Yalu River in Chinese — and smuggle himself back into the North to save his mother.

"I knew that I could die or face up to five years in prison in South Korea ... But in the end, what made my determination clear was the realization that my mother had raised me for over 20 years, so sacrificing four or five years of my life in prison was the right thing to do. That very evening, I crossed over," Kim told The Korea Times in an interview marking the release of his first book in June.

He was born and raised in Ryanggang Province, North Korea, a border region near China. Titled "My Hell Could Not Kill Me" (translated title), the Korean-language memoir recounts his initial defection, his extreme re-entry into North Korea to rescue his mother, his second escape to the South and his life in Seoul.

Promise he couldn't break

He managed to leave the North and settled in Seoul in 2017 after completing the South Korean government's resettlement program. But some guilt and a promise he had made to rescue his mother from the North never left his mind.

"My entire goal for building a life in South Korea was rooted in the fact that I didn't come here just to live well on my own — so I had to bring my mother over as quickly as possible," he said.

For years, every won he earned working in Seoul went toward paying brokers to arrange his mother's rescue. He also decided to fly to China himself to help see the plan through. The arrangement was straightforward: his mother would follow the brokers he had hired across the border, where Kim would be waiting to welcome her. Initially, he had no intention of returning to North Korea himself, knowing it meant facing national security charges in the South and, above all, certain torture and death if caught by North Korean authorities.

However, after initially agreeing to escape, his mother hesitated at the very last minute. The brokers waiting near the border abandoned the mission, leaving Kim alone in China.

A town in Hyesan, Ryanggang Province, North Korea, seen from the border county of Changbai in China. Courtesy of Kim Kang-woo

“While deciding to cross into North Korea took only two hours, I had agonized over the rescue mission itself for more than two months beforehand. Moreover, I felt that if I failed this time, came back to South Korea, worked to save up money and tried to prepare again, my will would shatter ... I just decided I would give it everything, even at the cost of my life, in that moment,” Kim said.

Backed by his experience smuggling goods across the river since he was 17, he felt confident he could make the crossing.

Even though he managed to slip across the border, his appearance quickly posed a major obstacle. With dyed hair and pierced ears — styles strictly forbidden in the North — he looked distinctly out of place.

Kim Kang-woo takes a selfie at his home in Hyesan, Ryanggang Province, North Korea, during his 22-day stay in the country in 2019. Courtesy of Kim Kang-woo

Heightened border security further complicated the mission. North Korean authorities intercepted a prolonged phone call his mother made to South Korea to borrow money for the broker's fee. She was promptly taken into custody, where she was beaten and questioned about Kim's whereabouts and her own intentions to escape.

What tormented him most was not the nature of the second escape itself, but the fear that he may have ruined his mother's life because of him.

"Since I managed to push through most of them through sheer force of will, the moment I feared most was when my mother was taken by the North's spy agency. That was when I completely broke down. I collapsed emotionally and cried harder than I ever had in my life. I couldn't even make a sound; the tears just kept streaming down," he recalled.

"I had crossed back into North Korea to save my mother, but my return ended up handing her over to the secret police — when she could have lived out the rest of her life in comfort on the money I sent. To make matters worse, I witnessed her being beaten right before my eyes that day. The overwhelming guilt and the complete hopelessness of what lay ahead crushed me entirely. That was, without a doubt, the hardest moment of all."

Kim Kang-woo poses during an interview with The Korea Times at the newspaper’s headquarters in Seoul, Sept. 7. Korea Times photo by Shim Hyun-chul

Reunited, then arrested

Luckily, his mother was able to talk her way out of custody, insisting she could never betray her own country. After learning of his mother's release, Kim crossed the river a second time to arrange for brokers to transport her across the border. During the process, he was forced to remain in his North Korean hometown for 22 days.

After returning to the South, Kim was immediately arrested under the National Security Act and charged with involvement in a phishing scam used to raise funds for the broker's fee. While he was in prison, his mother was also able to defect to South Korea.

He spent roughly 10 months in custody during the investigation without meeting her in person, before ultimately receiving a suspended sentence and being released, as authorities took his extraordinary circumstances into account.

"The day I got out of prison, I severed ties with my friends and stopped drinking altogether. I wanted to treat it as a real turning point for my life," Kim said.

He now attends university, majoring in international affairs — a long-held dream he had postponed to secure his mother's defection.

"I had a deep, lingering yearning to continue my education. I was always so envious watching friends whose score is lower than me head off to universities and medical schools," he said.

"I almost gave up my eduction in South Korea, but an elderly gentleman who had heard my story reached out to me. He kindly told me that it made no sense to give up on studying just because of a lack of money and offered to support me if I wanted to pursue my education."

Just as the elderly benefactor had helped him, Kim wishes to pass that support on to others. With that in mind he wrote the book "My Hell Could Not Kill Me" to offer hope to those facing desperate situations.

Kim said he wrote the book primarily for fellow defectors — people who, like him, escaped their own version of hell and deserved to find happiness on the other side. But he hoped the message would reach further than that.

"My message to anyone enduring a painful night or walking a suffering path is simple: don't give up — stand firm and press on. If someone like I could make it, I wanted to give them the courage to believe that they, too, can overcome their own trials," he said, adding that he hopes the book could bring comfort and courage to any South Korean going through a difficult time, not just defectors.

金康宇表示，他于2016年从朝鲜叛逃到韩国，后来为了营救母亲，冒险返回朝鲜。他讲述了自己从朝鲜返回韩国后，因违反《国家安全法》而被捕，最终被判缓刑的经历。他目前在大学攻读国际事务专业，并撰写了回忆录，以鼓励其他脱北者和其他身处困境的人们。

金康宇于 2016 年 5 月越过朝鲜边境进入中国，当时他 21 岁。2017 年，他完成了韩国政府的安置计划，并在首尔定居。

2019 年 5 月，他返回朝鲜试图营救他的母亲，并表示他知道他可能会死在韩国，或者面临长达五年的监禁。

返回南方后，他因违反国家安全法而被捕，在调查期间被拘留了大约 10 个月，之后被判缓刑。

在他被捕后，他的母亲最终得以叛逃到韩国，而他本人则被迫在朝鲜老家停留了 22 天。

金现在正在上大学，主修国际事务，这是他为了把母亲从朝鲜带出来而推迟的梦想。

发布于2026年9月19日上午11:13（韩国标准时间）

更新于2026年9月19日上午11:14（韩国标准时间）

9月7日，作家金康宇在首尔《韩国时报》总部接受采访时摆姿势拍照。（《韩国时报》摄影师沈贤哲摄）

金康宇所著《我的地狱杀不死我》一书封底 / 图片由Book and Life提供

本文是系列采访的第二篇，采访对象是那些生活与朝鲜有交集的人，提供了关于连接朝韩两国并继续塑造他们今天生活的风险、路线和关系的第一手资料。

2016年5月，时年21岁的金康宇冒着生命危险越过朝鲜边境进入中国，叛逃到韩国寻求自由，他当时认为自己可能再也无法回到那个与世隔绝的国家。但三年后，2019年5月，他毫不犹豫地再次跳入鸭绿江（又称鸭绿江），偷渡回朝鲜，去拯救他的母亲。

“我知道我可能会死，或者在韩国面临长达五年的监禁……但最终，让我下定决心的是，我意识到母亲养育了我二十多年，所以牺牲四五年的牢狱生涯是正确的选择。就在那天晚上，我离开了人世。”金在六月接受《韩国时报》采访时说道，当时正值他的第一本书发行之际。

他出生并成长于朝鲜两江道，一个靠近中国的边境地区。这本名为《我的地狱杀不死我》（译名）的韩语回忆录讲述了他最初的叛逃、为了营救母亲而冒险重返朝鲜、第二次逃往韩国以及他在首尔的生活。

他无法违背的承诺

2017年，他完成了韩国政府的安置计划，成功离开朝鲜，定居首尔。但他心中始终萦绕着愧疚和当初承诺要从朝鲜救出母亲的念头。

他说：“我在韩国建立生活的整个目标，都源于这样一个事实：我来这里不仅仅是为了自己过上好日子——所以我必须尽快把我母亲接过来。”

多年来，他在首尔工作挣的每一韩元都用来支付中间人安排营救母亲的费用。他还决定亲自飞往中国，协助执行营救计划。安排很简单：他的母亲会跟随他雇佣的中间人越过边境，金正恩会在那里迎接她。起初，他并不打算自己返回朝鲜，因为他知道这意味着在韩国将面临危害国家安全的指控，更重要的是，一旦被朝鲜当局抓获，必将遭受酷刑甚至死亡。

然而，尽管最初同意逃跑，他的母亲在最后一刻却犹豫了。守候在边境附近的掮客放弃了行动，留下金独自一人留在中国。

从中国长白县眺望朝鲜两江道惠山市。图片由金康宇提供。

“虽然决定越境进入朝鲜只用了两个小时，但在此之前，我为了这次营救行动本身已经煎熬了两个多月。而且，我觉得如果这次失败了，回到韩国后，还要努力攒钱再重新准备，我的意志就会彻底崩溃……那一刻，我下定决心要全力以赴，哪怕付出生命也在所不惜。”金说道。

凭借他从 17 岁起就开始走私货物过河的经验，他自信能够成功渡河。

尽管他设法越过了边境，但他的外貌很快就成了个大障碍。他染了头发，打了耳洞——这些在北方都是严格禁止的——让他显得格格不入。

2019年，金康宇在朝鲜进行为期22天的访问期间，在其位于朝鲜两江道惠山市的家中自拍。照片由金康宇提供。

加强边境安保进一步加剧了行动的复杂性。朝鲜当局截获了金正恩母亲打给韩国的长时间电话，她试图借钱支付中间人的费用。她随即被拘留，遭到殴打并被审问金正恩的下落以及她自己逃跑的意图。

最让他痛苦的不是第二次逃跑本身，而是他害怕自己可能因为这件事毁了母亲的一生。

“由于我凭借着强大的意志力挺过了大部分难关，我最害怕的时刻是母亲被朝鲜间谍机构带走的那一刻。那一刻我彻底崩溃了。我情绪崩溃，哭得比以往任何时候都厉害。我甚至发不出声音，眼泪止不住地流，”他回忆道。

“我为了救母亲重返朝鲜，结果却把她拱手让给了秘密警察——而她本可以靠我寄的钱安享晚年。更糟糕的是，那天我亲眼目睹了她被殴打。巨大的愧疚感和对未来彻底绝望的恐惧让我崩溃。毫无疑问，那是我人生中最难熬的时刻。”

9月7日，金康宇在首尔《韩国时报》总部接受采访时摆姿势拍照。（《韩国时报》摄影师：沈贤哲）

重聚后被捕

幸运的是，他的母亲凭借三寸不烂之舌成功脱身，坚称自己绝不会背叛祖国。得知母亲获释后，金正恩第二次渡河，安排中间人将她送过边境。在此期间，他被迫在朝鲜老家滞留了22天。

返回韩国后，金某立即因违反《国家安全法》被捕，并被指控参与网络钓鱼诈骗，该诈骗活动旨在为中间人筹集佣金。在他服刑期间，他的母亲也成功叛逃至韩国。

在调查期间，他被拘留了大约 10 个月，期间未能与她见面。最终，由于当局考虑到他的特殊情况，他被判缓刑并获释。

“我出狱那天，就和朋友们断绝了关系，彻底戒了酒。我想把这当作我人生的一个真正转折点，”金说道。

他现在正在上大学，主修国际事务——这是他一直以来的梦想，为了确保母亲叛逃而推迟了这一梦想。

“我一直渴望继续深造。看着那些分数比我低的朋友考上大学和医学院，我总是非常羡慕，”他说。

“我差点放弃了在韩国的学业，但一位听了我的遭遇后联系了我。他和蔼地告诉我，仅仅因为缺钱就放弃学业是没有意义的，并表示如果我想继续完成学业，他愿意资助我。”

正如那位年长的恩人曾帮助过他一样，金也希望将这份帮助传递给其他人。怀着这样的信念，他写下了《我的地狱杀不死我》这本书，希望能为那些身处绝境的人们带来希望。

金说，他写这本书主要是为了其他脱北者——那些和他一样逃离了各自地狱、理应在来世获得幸福的人。但他希望这本书的信息能够传播得更广。

“我想对所有正在经历痛苦夜晚或走上苦难之路的人说：不要放弃——坚定立场，勇往直前。如果像我这样的人都能做到，我希望给他们勇气，让他们相信自己也能克服困难，”他说道。他还补充说，他希望这本书能给所有正在经历困境的韩国人带来安慰和勇气，而不仅仅是脱北者。