When friends drift apart or fall out, the self-blame and grief can hurt more than a breakup

Headstart On Record Podcast

Our friend circles shrink as we get older. How do we deal with it?

Published Sep 21, 2026, 10:00 AM

Updated Sep 21, 2026, 10:00 AM

In this episode, therapist Cao Zhikai shares how we can deal with losing friends as we enter adulthood, and what we can do to combat that feeling of loss. She also shares about the grief of friendship breakups, which don’t often get given enough attention in a society that prioritises romantic relationships.

Hosts Kai Wen and Sue-Ann discuss why it’s nerve-wrecking making friends as adults, yet having the payoff of a purposeful adult connection is worth it.

Highlights (click/tap above):

0:32 Shrinking adult friend circles?

4:35 Why proximity matters

8:39 The grief of losing friends

16:26 Being intentional in keeping friendships alive

24:39 Do friends serve a purpose?

28:10 The fears of making new friends as adults

33:59 Meeting new people in a non-romantic way

Follow See Kai Wen on LinkedIn: https://str.sg/qfwqQ

Follow Sue-Ann Tan on LinkedIn: https://str.sg/A86X

Read Sue-Ann Tan’s articles: https://str.sg/mvSa

Hosts: See Kai Wen ( seekw@sph.com.sg ) and Sue-Ann Tan ( suetan@sph.com.sg )

Produced & edited by: Amirul Karim

Executive producer: Elizabeth Law

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Headstart On Record播客

随着年龄增长，我们的朋友圈会越来越小。我们该如何应对这种情况？

发布于2026年9月21日上午10:00

更新于2026年9月21日上午10:00

在本期节目中，心理治疗师曹志凯分享了我们步入成年后如何应对失去朋友的痛苦，以及我们可以做些什么来对抗这种失落感。她还谈到了友谊破裂带来的悲伤，在如今这个重视恋爱关系的社会里，这种悲伤往往被忽视。

主持人 Kai Wen 和 Sue-Ann 讨论了为什么成年人交朋友会让人紧张，但建立有意义的成年人关系的回报是值得的。

亮点（点击/轻触上方）：

0:32 成年人的朋友圈正在缩小？

4:35 为什么距离很重要

8:39 失去朋友的悲痛

16:26 用心维系友谊

24:39 朋友有用吗？

28:10 成年人结交新朋友的恐惧

33:59 以非浪漫的方式结识新朋友

在领英上关注 See Kai Wen：https://str.sg/qfwqQ

在领英上关注 Sue-Ann Tan：https://str.sg/A86X

阅读 Sue-Ann Tan 的文章：https://str.sg/mvSa

主持人：See Kai Wen ( seekw@sph.com.sg ) 和 Sue-Ann Tan ( suetan@sph.com.sg )

制作及剪辑：阿米鲁尔·卡里姆

执行制片人：伊丽莎白·劳

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