‘It doesn’t sound like who he is’: Family of man jailed over baby’s death said they saw no signs of abuse

The mother and sister of the dead boy's father spoke after the man and his wife were both sentenced to more than 15 years' jail for the abuse leading to the child's death.

A stock image of a baby's hand. (Photo: iStock)

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SINGAPORE: Family members of a man who, along with his wife, abused their baby son before he died at the age of eight months said they had never noticed any signs of abuse and were shocked at details revealed in court.

Speaking outside the High Court, the man's mother and sister told reporters on Wednesday (Oct 21) that they had seen the couple and their son, Trevor, several times during the months when they have since learnt the abuse was taking place, but had never spotted any bruises on the baby.

They remembered Trevor as a “good boy” who was “always smiling”, and said they had never seen him cry.

The baby's parents, Chloe Gan Ci Xuan, 23, and Neo Jia Ming, 27, were sentenced on Wednesday to 15 years and three months' jail and 16 years' jail respectively for various offences linked to their son's death.

For about seven months of his life, Trevor was assaulted by his parents and left with bruises. His father would slap him so hard he left bruises, or pinch his fingers forcefully to see his reaction.

The couple also shook Trevor frequently to stop him from crying, and later began covering his nose and mouth or smothering him.

Neither parent intervened when they saw the other abusing the infant.

Trevor died after repeatedly being smothered by his mother in early September 2024.

Gan pleaded guilty to three charges: causing the death of a child, ill-treating a child and permitting such ill-treatment.

Neo pleaded guilty to four charges: allowing the death of a child, ill-treating a child, permitting Gan's ill-treatment of Trevor and domestic abuse of his wife.

“DOESN’T SOUND LIKE WHO HE IS”

Neo’s older sister, who wanted to be known only as Ms Neo, said that while her brother was not particularly close to anyone in the family, she shared the closest relationship with him.

“I cannot believe this is what my brother did. I read (the news), it just doesn’t sound like who he is. He’s not a person like this,” said the 29-year-old who works in the automotive industry.

“He is a very timid person, (who was) scared to get into trouble … So when I read the news … Everything doesn’t sound real. Everything I read doesn’t look real to me,” she said.

Both Ms Neo and the siblings’ mother, who wished to be known only as Mdm Koh, recalled how Neo had made extensive preparations for Trevor’s arrival after learning he was going to become a father, without asking his family for much help.

Speaking about her brother’s work ethic, Ms Neo repeatedly spoke of how hard he had worked to support his family.

“He is actually quite self-sufficient … I see him working very hard.” Neo had a full-time job, earned money from food delivery after work, and worked part-time on his days off to earn extra income, she said.

Ms Neo also occasionally gave her brother money and helped buy milk powder and diapers for Trevor.

“I don’t know what happened in between," she said about the change in her brother's behaviour.

Asked about the domestic abuse charges against her brother, Ms Neo said she had never witnessed anything that suggested violence in his relationship with Gan.

She described the couple as “soft spoken” and did not notice any signs of trouble in their relationship.

She added that her brother appeared devoted to Gan and had taken her on holidays after Trevor was born.

“When I see my brother, Chloe is always around. I don’t see any bruises, I don’t see any marks on Chloe,” she said.

After Neo's arrest, Ms Neo said she initially visited her brother once every two to three months, but the visits became less frequent, taking place once every three to six months.

COUPLE APPEARED HAPPY

Mdm Koh also expressed disbelief at the details that emerged in the case, recalling how the couple and their baby had appeared happy during visits to her home.

She last saw Trevor when he was about eight months' old, but said she did not notice any signs of abuse. This would have been in the final weeks of the boy's life given that he died at the age of eight months.

Earlier reports stated that in May 2024, Gan's mother noticed bruises on the child and warned her daughter to stop hitting the infant. The boy would have been about four months' old at that point.

Mdm Koh said the couple would typically stay for three to four hours when they came over to her place for meals, and nothing about their behaviour had raised any alarm.

However, she recalled that the couple often appeared tired and would tell her that they were exhausted.

Speaking to the media in Mandarin, Mdm Koh said neither Neo nor Gan had ever complained to the family about Trevor crying excessively or about being unable to cope with caring for him.

She remembered Trevor as a good boy who enjoyed being carried.

Mdm Koh said that as she did not live in the same home as the couple, she she had no idea when the abuse began, but Neo did not bring Trevor over to her place frequently because their schedules often did not align.

Both Ms Neo and Mdm Koh appeared calm as they spoke to the media.

Earlier, as they entered the courtroom, they immediately made eye contact with Neo, who straightened in his chair. His mother gave him a subtle nod.

Following his sentencing, the two women had a brief opportunity to speak to Neo.

They relayed the fact that during their conversation, Neo told them that he hoped to continue studying while in prison. Ms Neo said she encouraged him to work hard.

Gan's parents were also present in court and appeared sombre as the sentences were read out. They declined to speak to the media after the sentencing.

They, too, had a chance to speak to their daughter.

Gan nodded as her mother spoke with her, wiping her eyes as her nose appeared red. Her mother reached through a small gap in the transparent partition to hold her hand, while her father did the same to gently touch her chin.

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死者父亲的母亲和妹妹在父亲和妻子因虐待致死罪被判处 15 年以上监禁后发表了讲话。

一张婴儿手的图片（素材图片）。（图片来源：iStock）

这段音频由人工智能工具生成。

新加坡：一名男子与妻子虐待他们八个月大的儿子，导致其夭折。该男子的家人表示，他们从未注意到任何虐待迹象，并对法庭披露的细节感到震惊。

周三（10 月 21 日），这名男子的母亲和妹妹在高等法院外告诉记者，在她们得知虐待事件发生后的几个月里，她们曾多次见过这对夫妇和他们的儿子特雷弗，但从未在婴儿身上发现任何瘀伤。

他们回忆说，特雷弗是个“好孩子”，总是“面带微笑”，他们说从未见过他哭。

婴儿的父母，23岁的Chloe Gan Ci Xuan和27岁的Neo Jia Ming，周三因与儿子死亡相关的各种罪行分别被判处15年零3个月和16年有期徒刑。

在特雷弗生命的大约七个月里，他一直遭受父母的虐待，身上伤痕累累。他的父亲会狠狠地扇他耳光，让他留下淤青，或者用力掐他的手指，观察他的反应。

这对夫妇还经常摇晃特雷弗，让他停止哭泣，后来开始捂住他的口鼻，甚至让他窒息。

当父母看到对方虐待婴儿时，双方都没有进行干预。

2024年9月初，特雷弗被他的母亲反复捂住口鼻窒息而死。

甘某承认三项指控：导致儿童死亡、虐待儿童和允许虐待儿童。

Neo承认犯有四项罪名：放任儿童死亡、虐待儿童、纵容Gan虐待Trevor以及对妻子实施家庭暴力。

“听起来不像他会说的话”

Neo的姐姐（她只愿被称为Neo女士）表示，虽然弟弟与家里的任何人都不算特别亲近，但她与弟弟的关系最为密切。

“我简直不敢相信我哥哥会做出这种事。我看了新闻，这根本不像他会做的事。他不是这样的人，”这位29岁、在汽车行业工作的男子说道。

“他是个非常胆小的人，害怕惹麻烦……所以当我读到新闻时……一切都感觉不真实。我读到的一切都让我觉得不真实，”她说。

Neo女士和兄妹俩的母亲（她希望只透露自己姓Koh）都回忆说，Neo在得知自己即将成为父亲后，为Trevor的到来做了大量的准备工作，并没有向家人寻求太多帮助。

谈到她哥哥的工作态度，Neo女士反复提到他为了养家糊口而努力工作。

“他其实很能自立……我看到他工作非常努力。”她说，Neo有一份全职工作，下班后送外卖赚钱，休息日还做兼职来赚取额外收入。

Neo女士偶尔也会给弟弟一些钱，并帮助Trevor购买奶粉和尿布。

“我不知道这期间发生了什么，”她谈到哥哥行为的改变时说道。

当被问及她哥哥面临的家庭暴力指控时，Neo女士表示，她从未目睹过任何表明她哥哥与Gan之间存在暴力行为的迹象。

她形容这对夫妇“说话轻声细语”，没有注意到他们的关系出现任何问题。

她还补充说，她的哥哥似乎非常疼爱甘，在特雷弗出生后就带她去度假。

“我每次见到我哥哥，克洛伊总是在他身边。我没看到克洛伊身上有任何瘀伤或痕迹，”她说。

Neo被捕后，Neo女士表示，她最初每两到三个月去看望哥哥一次，但后来探望的频率降低，改为每三到六个月一次。

这对夫妇看起来很幸福

许女士也对案件中披露的细节表示难以置信，她回忆起这对夫妇和他们的孩子在她家做客时看起来都很开心。

她最后一次见到特雷弗时，他大约八个月大，但她说没有发现任何虐待的迹象。考虑到特雷弗八个月大就去世了，那应该是在他生命的最后几周。

早前报道称，2024年5月，甘的母亲发现孩子身上有瘀伤，并警告女儿不要再打孩子。当时孩子大约四个月大。

许女士表示，这对夫妇每次来她家吃饭都会待三到四个小时，他们的行为举止并没有引起任何警觉。

然而，她回忆说，这对夫妇经常看起来很疲惫，并告诉她他们筋疲力尽。

许女士用普通话对媒体表示，梁和甘都从未向家人抱怨过特雷弗哭闹过多，或者抱怨自己无法照顾他。

她记得特雷弗是个好孩子，喜欢被人抱着。

Koh女士表示，由于她不和这对夫妇住在一起，所以她不知道虐待是从什么时候开始的，但Neo并没有经常带Trevor来她家，因为他们的时间安排经常不一致。

Neo女士和Koh女士在接受媒体采访时都显得很平静。

早些时候，他们进入法庭时，立刻与尼奥目光相遇，尼奥随即挺直了身子。他的母亲微微向他点了点头。

宣判后，这两名女子有机会与尼奥短暂交谈。

他们转述说，在谈话中，Neo告诉他们他希望在狱中继续学习。Neo女士说她鼓励他努力学习。

甘某的父母也到庭旁听，宣判时神情凝重。宣判后，他们拒绝接受媒体采访。

他们也有机会和女儿谈谈。

甘一边听着母亲说话，一边点头，鼻子泛红，她不禁擦了擦眼睛。母亲透过透明隔板的缝隙握住她的手，父亲也伸出手轻轻抚摸她的下巴。

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